THE GREAT
TAMASHA COOKBOOK AND FAMILY
HISTORY
5
Tamasha
Receives Callers
Mrs Beeton’s Queen Cakes, A Recipe from 1861
1 lb. of flour, 1/2 lb. of butter, 1/2
lb. of pounded loaf sugar, 3 eggs, 1 teacupful of cream, 1/2 lb. of currants, 1
teaspoonful of carbonate of soda, essence of lemon or almonds to taste.
Mode: Work the butter to a cream;
dredge in the flour, add the sugar and currants, and mix the ingredients well
together. Whisk the eggs, mix with the cream and flavouring, and stir these to
the flour; add the carbonate of soda, beat the paste well for 10 minutes, put
it into small buttered pans, and bake the cakes from 1/4 to 1/2 hour. Grated
lemon-rind may be substituted for the lemon and almond flavouring, which will
make the cakes equally nice.
From the
unfinished MS., circa 1899: Our India
Days
Chapter 6: The Summer with Ponsonby Sahib at Tamasha
No, no cakes today, children. If you do not
care for cucumber sandwiches you may leave them. Who told you of the honey and
milk drink, Matt? –Oh. Well, yes, it is delicious but your mammas have said
that you children do not need it, in the afternoon. Nor for supper, either,
Tessa, dear. Now, as we are just going to tell Madeleine, Mr Thomas and Antoinette
of some of the unsuitable beaux by whom your old great-aunties were pursued
when we were young ladies, you little ones had best run along and play. And it
is a beautiful fine day! Off you go! –Matt, dearest boy, you will become bored.
You wish to know? Very well, dear one, but if you lose interest, just slip out
quietly. –Thank you, Mr Thomas; the little ones are so forgetful about closing
the French windows. Now, as you might imagine, word had got about and so we
were not left long in peace at Tamasha after Ponsonby sahib came home…
A Beau Calls at Tamasha, & His Reception Thereat
Tiddy went into the study, scowling, and
reported that Dr Goodenough had called. Ponsonby sahib laid down his pen. “Oh? Is someone ill, Tiddy?”
“No.”
“A social call, then.” She continued to
scowl, so he rose and said: “Do you wish me to come and see him?”
“Not right away,” she admitted, still
scowling.
Sighing, he sat down again and said:
“Tiddy, if you do not tell me what the matter be, I fear I cannot act
appropriately.”
“No. Well, the thing is, I’m not sure how
to put it.”
“Ah… you have possibly forgotten, over the
years, but I don’t think I was ever precisely slow on the uptake, was I?” he
murmured.
“Not about the sorts of things you had to
know about for your profession, no. But this is about young ladies.”
“In that case,” he said, unsmiling, “you
had best explain it all to me very clearly, for that is most certainly a topic
about which I know nothing whatsoever.”
“He admires Tess. –Don’t interrupt!” she
ordered sharply as he opened his mouth.
Ponsonby subsided, looking meek, and Tiddy
continued grimly: “And we know she affects him. I taxed her with it not long
since and she burst into tears and ran out of the room.”
“Would this taxing have been in connection
with the terms of your father’s will?” he ventured cautiously.
“Yes. Josie thinks Tess ought to take you,
since she is the eldest, but although she will not admit it, she doesn’t wish
to.”
Very mildly he replied: “I see. Is there
more?”
“Yes. Before Papa died, Dr Goodenough
seemed quite keen, and although his duties keep him busy, would come to call at
least once a week. And his mother was—I suppose you could almost say,” she said, narrowing the grey-green eyes, “that she was
encouraging it. At all events, she would sometimes call, and toad-eat Mamma
whilst endeavouring to winkle out of her exactly how much Tess’s dowry would
be. –Don’t interrupt!” she snapped.
“After Papa died, Dr Goodenough called once.
We have not seen him since.”
“You were away with your aunt and uncle for
a time,” he reminded her cautiously.
Tiddy gave him a scornful look. “He called
the week after Papa’s funeral. Shortly after that his mother called and got out
of Mamma exactly how things had been left, and since then we have not seen hair
nor hide of the pair of them! Is that clear enough for you?”
“Quite. Hanging fire until they see which
way the wind blows. I’ll get rid of him,” he said, rising to his feet.
“NO!” she shouted.
Ponsonby blinked at her.
“I knew you wouldn’t understand!”
“Go on,” he sighed, sinking back into his
chair.
“I don’t want you to get rid of him,
because although he is a spineless nincompoop and completely under his mother’s
thumb, he is not positively venal. He does do a lot of good in the
neighbourhood, and looks after the cottagers for almost no remuneration. Well,
the occasional half-dozen eggs, that sort of thing. And Tess wants him.”
“Tiddy, the man does not sound at all the
sort one would wish to see your sister marry.”
“You really know nothing, do you? I
entirely agree that none of us would wish
to see her marry him, but the point is, she cares for him, not for any worthier object! And she has been mooning after
him ever since he came into the district!” Tiddy counted on her fingers. She
made a horrible grimace. “It must be over two years, because one of the reasons
Mamma sent her away to London for a Season with Aunt Mary was to see if she would
find someone more suitable. But she didn’t, you see, though apparently there
were plenty of them.”
“So you wish me to encourage this
spineless, not positively venal fortune-hunter?”
“Yes. Well, to do him justice, I think the
fortune would not weigh so much with him if he were left to himself, but he is
completely under his mother’s thumb. –He's very good-looking, in a soft sort of
way. Do you remember Charlie Hatton’s papa? A bit like him.”
“I see. I wouldn’t have said Hatton was
particularly soft.”
Tiddy eyed him drily. “He never did
anything that she wouldn’t like,
though, did he? Multiply that about an hundred times, and that is James
Goodenough.”
—Indeed, Antoinette, dearest, the
comparison with the Reverend and Mrs Frimpton does spring to mind. Er—perhaps
we should not have mentioned— Oh, you agree, Mr Thomas? Quite, Madeleine, dear:
one cannot help but remark it. No, of course he was not good enough for our
dearest Tess, Mr Thomas, if he was Goodenough! But as you will hear, Ponsonby sahib agreed he might call. Giving the
fellow enough rope, Mr Thomas? Quite!
Ponsonby sighed. “I collect I am to receive
him with complaisance, then, Tiddy?”
“Yes. Only, please give them some time to
be together. –I stopped Josie from joining them,” she noted proudly.
“They’re alone?”
“Yes,
is it not shocking?” said Tiddy cheerfully.
“Not wholly, no,” he said coolly. “But
where is Mlle Dupont?”
“She and Tonie have gone to pay a call on
Miss Partridge. Tonie is much keener on calling since you revealed that Lord
Sleyven is our Colonel Wynton. She thinks that an invitation to Maunsleigh
might be forthcoming, if she butters—”
“That will do, I think.”
“—butters both yourself and Miss Partridge
up enough,” finished Tiddy calmly.
“There is really no need to dot positively
all the I’s!” he noted crossly.
Unmoved, Tiddy replied: “I’ll call you when
it’s time for you to go in there, shall I?”
“No. If he’s still here in ten minutes’
time, I shall go in, and if he ain’t it will possibly indicate that there was
no need for this conversation, after all.”
“Pooh!” she said scornfully, going out.
Ponsonby duly went into the pretty
downstairs sitting-room. Dr Goodenough was a brown-haired young man, where
Major Hatton, like his children, was fair, with blue eyes. But Tiddy was not
wrong, nevertheless: there was the same plumpness about the chin, the same sort
of undistinguished nose, and the same very pleasant smile. And, indeed, the
same air of easygoing charm. It was very clear that Miss Lucas, though her
behaviour was entirely proper, could not take her eyes off him. And it was
pretty clear to the experienced Ponsonby that the young man knew it. It was
nothing so definite as vanity: more an almost instinctive knowledge, that
doubtless had been his since his cradle, that he was an attractive fellow who
could not fail to please.
The doctor left with a low bow over Miss
Lucas’s hand and the promise—with the smile that crinkled his eyes in a way
that reminded Ponsonby very much of Hatton doing the pretty to Mrs General
Hayworth or other sakht burra mems of
her ilk—that his Mamma would call.
“We’ll look forward to that, then,” he
noted as Tiddy appeared in the doorway.
“Tiddy, my dear, why did you not come in to
speak to our guest? Dr Goodenough must have thought it odd of you,” murmured
Miss Lucas.
“The whole neighbourhood thinks I’m odd,”
replied Tiddy indifferently. “Did you see his trap?” she demanded of Ponsonby.
"Driving the trap" Pen & ink, artist unknown, circa 1830. Courtesy of the Maunsleigh Collection |
“No.”
“He drives a cob in it. It ain’t much, but
it’s in decent condition.”
“That must speak well of him, then. Though
a country doctor needs a reliable horse.”
“Yes; but do you know,” said Tiddy, opening
her eyes very wide at him, “the same sort of caveat must obtain, whatever good
thing one may find to say of him!”
“Really, Tiddy!” protested her sister,
going very red. “How can you say such a thing?”
“Well,” said Tiddy, commencing to tick off
points on her fingers, “he is generally very well liked. But then, his person
and manners are such as must generally please, so why would he not be?”
Ponsonby got up. “I thought he seemed very
pleasant indeed,” he said mildly. “Tiddy, come with me, if you please.” He had
thought she might dig her toes in, but she shrugged, and accompanied him to the
study. “Remarks such as that,” he said drily, closing the door, “will not
persuade your sister that the doctor is not worthy of her affections.”
“No. I was being over-optimistic,” she
admitted. “Though I suppose if she is impelled to spring to his defence, it
must demonstrate she affects him.”
“I wouldn’t call it springing.” He lounged
over to the window and looked out blankly at the spreading green lawns of
Tamasha. “On the other hand, I doubt that springing is in Miss Lucas’s nature.”
“Um, well, that’s true,” said Tiddy weakly.
He smiled, just a little. “Mm. –I think
it’s going to rain. I’d forgotten how much it rains in England. Let’s hope the
doctor gets home dry.”
Tiddy gave a rich snort. “If it starts to
pour, he will stop off with Mrs Richards, mark my words! –The Richards cottage
is conveniently situate midway between Tamasha and the village. Mr Richards is
Sir William Hathaway’s head forester, and Mrs Richards is a buxom, comely
person who, rumour has it, is not averse to sending for Dr Goodenough for
nothing but a scratched finger.”
Ponsonby turned slowly. “Oh? And he?”
“Only too glad—so rumour has it—to step in
and partake of her hot muffins or whatever else may be offering.”
“I should probably say that you should not
have said that. Does Tess know of this?”
“No. Miss Partridge tried to drop a hint—a
well-meaning hint, to give her her due—but it was so delicately phrased that
Tess didn’t understand it. I tried to persuade Mamma that she ought to tell
her, but she was too soft-hearted. And Tonie doesn’t know: she is so very
straight-laced that people hesitate before repeating such tidbids to her.”
“And Josie?”
“What makes you imagine that she’s
interested?” responded Josie’s full sister drily.
He winced. “I see. Are you implying that I
should be the one to enlighten Miss Lucas?”
Tiddy gave him a look of dislike. “No. I’m
not accustomed to imply things. I
thought it was only fair that you should have the full picture. I know that
Tess is of age, but nevertheless you are still the guardian of her fortune, are
you not? Added to which she’s so proper that she would never dream of marrying
where you disapproved.”
He rubbed his chin. “Isn’t this an
exaggeration? Surely, if she cared deeply for a fellow?”
“Ponsonby sahib, you understand nothing—less than nothing,” said Tiddy with a
deep sigh. “Did I not say? This is a matter of young ladies!”
“Er—now, listen, Tiddy. The correct
behaviour for young ladies is one thing, but the human passions can be a—an
extremely strong motivating factor.”
“I do know that. But she is the sort of
person whose passions would inspire her not to disobedience but to an intense
suffering in the wake of the obedience.”
Ponsonby thought it over, frowning. “Ugh.
Charming. –I’m not arguing with you!” he added hastily as she began to glare.
“So—er—I suppose the next step is to receive the dashed mother with
complaisance, is it?”
“Yes. I might as well warn you now, that
you will perceive immediately that she is the sort who will continue to rule
her son’s life when he marries, and probably do her best to make her daughter-in-law’s
life a misery.”
He groaned. “This is not what you truly
want for your sister, is it, Tiddy?”
“NO!” she shouted. “She wants it!”
She made for the door, but Ponsonby was
before her, barring her way. “Sit down, Tiddy.”
Scowling, Tiddy flung herself into a chair.
He came and perched on the edge of the
desk. “You will not rope me into any
plot to marry off your sisters and grab my third of Henry’s estate for
yourself.”
“No such thing!” cried Tiddy, very red.
“Tess truly wants him!”
“Mm. I could see that, actually.”
“Then why accuse me of plotting?” she cried
indignantly.
Ponsonby eyed her drily. “Because I can see
that the one don’t negate the other, Tiddy.”
Tiddy again went very red.
“I gather,” he said, at his mildest, “that
over the last few years the only person who came near to matching those wits of
yours was your father. And I don’t imagine there were many occasions on which
you felt a need to deceive him: the two of you were always the best of friends,
weren’t you? Don’t waste your energies playing off your tricks with me. I’ve
known you since the day you were born.”
“Are you going to support me over this, or
not?” she choked.
He slid off the desk and went over to the
door. “Possibly. If I think that Tess may be happier married to him than not.
You may go; unless you have any further tidbids to impart?”
Tiddy went over to the door, scowling
horribly.
“Don’t fight me, Tiddy,” he said very, very
mildly. “You have not a hope of winning, you know.”
Scowling, Tiddy stamped out.
Ponsonby sahib shut the door slowly and returned to his desk, looking very
thoughtful.
There is no need to apologise for laughing,
Madeleine, dear: as you see, Tiddy baba
had more than met her match in Ponsonby sahib—though
as yet she had not nearly acknowledged as much to herself! The Thomas family
never knew our dearest Tess’s late husband, but no, Goodenough of course is not
her surname now—but then, much may happen in life, may it not? You and your brother
will just have to possess your souls in patience as the story unfolds! But to
the callers at Tamasha! The Goodenoughs were not the last, by no means!
Some Elegant Persons Pay Calls at Tamasha
"Paying calls in the barouche" Mezzotint, hand-coloured, artist unknown, circa 1826 Courtesy of the Maunsleigh Collection |
Graciously Lady Gordon-Smythe accepted tea.
Graciously she praised its quality. Graciously she accepted cake, urging Miss
Gordon-Smythe and Miss Mary to partake of it…
“The next step,” noted Tiddy evilly as her
Ladyship’s barouche rattled away, “will be for the noddies of sons to call,
posies in hand. The only question being, will the posies be for Tonie, Josie,
or me?”
“That will do, Tiddy,” said Mlle Dupont
calmly.
“Mlle Dupont, it is clearly all round the
neighbourhood that Ponsonby sahib is
come home to marry Tess and endow the rest of us with our fortunes!”
“I dare say it is. A lady, however,” said
the little former governess, unmoved, “would not remark upon the point. Come
along, my dear: the remainder of the afternoon may be spent most profitably in
practising your stitchery. Josie, my dear, I suggest you practise the new piece
that Miss Mary so kindly brought you: her Ladyship will expect to hear it, in
the event she invites you all to a quiet dinner en famille as she intimated.”
Josie pouted, but went out, and the
scowling Tiddy glumly followed the little Frenchwoman.
“Is she not wonderful?” said Ponsonby to
Miss Lucas and Miss Tonie with a twinkle in his eye.
“Er—she was certainly a very competent
governess, in her day, sir,” replied Miss Lucas. “And of course we are very
fond of her: she was Josie’s and Tiddy’s mamma’s friend.”
“She is certainly capable of handling both
of them, if that be wonderful,”
conceded Miss Tonie grimly.
He got up, concealing a sigh. “Something
like that. Er—how old are the Gordon-Smythe boys?” he added without hope.
The young ladies were not perfectly sure,
but Mr George had just come down from the university and Mr Gordon-Smythe was a
year or two his elder. He nodded, did not bother to say that in that case the
posies would be for Josie and Tiddy, and retreated to his study.
Exactly! Manners have not changed so very
much in the last thirty or forty years, have they? Though the personalities
have, thank goodness, and it is so delightful to have your Mamma and Papa as
neighbours, Madeleine, dear! No, well, your Papa would know better than we, Mr
Thomas, but the Mountfoot Place property was broken up quite some time since,
when we were still in India. But in those days it was still a large estate, and
Hathaway Hall still had Hathaways in it. In fact they were the next to call.
More Callers at Tamasha
Dear Mrs Elliott and Sir William Hathaway
having so kindly taken Miss Bartlett
up in their barouche—the implication was that any other landed baronet and his
sister would have driven straight past her, dashing dust in her face—they had
all come calling in a bunch!
Mlle Dupont, unmoved, agreed that so they
had. And it was delightful to see them. And she was quite sure they would like
to meet Colonel Ponsonby—
“What?”
he groaned as the footman appeared
with the message. “Not more?”
“Yessir,” agreed the sympathetic footman.
“Dunno when we had two lots of visitors in two days afore this, at Tamasha.
Miss Bartlett, she’s brung a basket of eggs. Dunno why, acos we got the finest
hens for miles around, at Tamasha.”
“Very well, Alfred, I’m coming.”
“Yessir,” he agreed sympathetically.
“Er—beg pardon, sir, but Sir William, he’s a very grand gentleman.”
“I am sure he is, but you see, my other
coat is even worse than this one,” said Ponsonby sweetly.
Alfred had turned purple, so there was no
doubt that was what he had meant. Generously Ponsonby forbore to ask him if he
thought that Sir William would be able to advise him how to go about getting a
suitable English valet.
Sir William was a florid-faced, hearty man
in his mid-years. With a large head, a large nose, and a hearty, commanding
manner which verged on the bullying. He clearly admired Miss Lucas. Mrs Elliott
was plump and somewhat vague in manner: the sort much given to trailing scarves
and wraps, which continually require readjusting on the person, and who
habitually manages to drop her fan, reticule, or smelling salts. Miss Bartlett
was a gaunt, horse-faced woman who was an eager gusher.
Sir William managed successfully to
patronise Ponsonby, indicating on the one hand that he was a pretty poor sort
of a fellow, and on the other that he was a lucky fellow to be handed a fortune
on a plate. Not quite voicing the
latter in so many words. Nor did he voice in so many words the point that
Ponsonby would be well advised to take Miss Tonie, but as he was making a
dead-set at Miss Lucas he possibly felt he did not need to. Mrs Elliott was all
fawning, if vague, complaisance to Miss Lucas and Miss Tonie, but did not
bother to address Mlle Dupont at all. Ponsonby she treated with a sort of
faded, less than half-interested coquetry that indicated she had once been some
sort of a belle. Miss Bartlett gushed eagerly at everybody in the room, even
Tiddy.
Mlle Dupont’s manners were faultless: it
was impossible to determine what she thought of the trio. Miss Lucas was polite
but obviously both disliked Sir William and was a little afraid of him. Miss
Tonie was coldly polite to all of the callers. Josie pouted throughout except
for the one or two instants when Mlle Dupont managed to catch her eye. Tiddy
was astoundingly meek.
“Apkee-wastees,”
she concluded, dropping the meekness, when at last the ordeal was over. “But
Miss Bartlett’s interesting, isn’t she?”
“I cannot conceive how you come to that
conclusion, Tiddy, mon ange,”
returned Mlle Dupont lightly.
Ignoring Josie’s gleeful spluttering fit,
Tiddy replied: “Well, she gushes, of course. But occasionally you notice that
underneath it she is quite a common-sensical, hearty sort of person. I think
she must have learned over the years that gushing is the only approach that
works with the gentry. When I go to tea at her cottage by myself she’s much
more sensible.”
“Possibly she is not in awe of you, Tiddy,”
said Mlle Dupont.
“No, but it’s more than that. –Sir
William’s horrid, isn’t he?” she said detachedly.
“A lady does not say horrid,” replied Mlle
Dupont calmly. “Though I concede he struck me as the sort of man who would
bully his servants and his dependants.”
“That is certainly the reputation he has in
the neighbourhood,” agreed Tonie grimly.
“Yes,” said Tiddy with satisfaction. “And
of course it was not apparent from a mere afternoon visit, but I feel I must
warn you—”
“I think not,” said Mlle Dupont firmly. “If
you must, you may tell me in private.”
“But Mademoiselle, both you and Ponsonby sahib need to know: it would be
ridiculous to tell you both in
private!”
Trying not to laugh, Ponsonby got up. “Very
possibly; but on the other hand, we don’t need you sullying Miss Lucas’s
sitting-room with whatever it is. Come into the study, if you please. –You too,
Mademoiselle, if you would.”
“But I want to hear, too!” cried Josie.
“I am very sure that whatever it is, you
already know,” replied her guardian, hard-heartedly closing the door in her
face.
“Go on, get it over with,” he said heavily,
once they were in the study.
“It’s the truth, so don’t—”
“Yes!
Just say it, Tiddy!”
“Mrs Elliott tells lies.”
“Mm. Significant ones?” he murmured.
Tiddy looked dubious. “She tells them in
order to escape the consequences of her own actions, and in order to get people
whom she does not like into trouble. Is that significant?”
“Yes. Thank you, Tiddy. We shall be
warned.”
“Um, she tells them about everybody. Well,
what I mean is, no-one likes Sir William, but all the same they don’t believe
half of her hints about him.”
“We see, my dear. High and low,” said the
little Frenchwoman brightly.
“Yes. It’s really extraordinary, isn’t it,
in a person of her comfortable position in life?” she said eagerly.
“Oh, certainement.
But possibly the brother bullies her; you see? And the lies, whether or no she
intends it, are her revenge.”
“Yes, that’s it,” said Tiddy, nodding
pleasedly. “May I go?”
“Yes. Oh, and if they call again, you may
absent yourself,” said Ponsonby kindly.
This generosity misfired. She eyed him
warily. “Why?”
“Well, because I don’t think they are
pleasant people for you to know, Tiddy.”
“No-o… They’re interesting, in their way. I
don’t require to be sheltered from them, Ponsonby sahib.”
He passed his hand over his forehead. “Just
do not say I haven’t given you the choice.”
Nodding, Tiddy disappeared.
Ponsonby looked at the meek, composed
features of the little retired governess, and sighed.
“The late Mrs Lucas managed her quite
well,” said Mlle Dupont calmly. “Of course, Tiddy was fond of her, and so that
inclined her to do her bidding. But it was perhaps a tactical error to allow
her to stay in the schoolroom quite so long.”
“Mm. Though I think she was not yet
seventeen, when the other girls went to London? Yes,” he said, as she nodded.
“She is being particularly difficult, I am
afraid, monsieur, because she vairy
much resents the disposition of her father’s property.”
Far from showing any evidence of offence at
this remark, Ponsonby looked at her with considerable approval. “Aye. But
that’s not the whole of it, is it?”
“No. She also resents having to grow up,
poor little Tiddy,” she said with a sigh.
“Mlle Dupont, there is no need for her to
grow up just yet. You may spare her the dashed tea parties,” he said heavily.
“I think I have not made myself quite
clear, monsieur. You see, it is the
fact of her papa’s will which is forcing her to grow up. Forcing her to see
herself as a grown woman and also, bien
entendu, to take stock of her options.”
He grimaced. “I see. Well, I’ve told them
we have the four years—but I take your point.”
“Of course, she is vairy bright.”
So, very obviously, was Marie-Louise
Dupont. Ponsonby eyed the prim, self-possessed little figure drily. “The which,
as far as my poor observation goes, don’t make life easier; the reverse, if
anything.”
Mlle Dupont nodded approvingly. “That is so
right, monsieur!”
He passed his hand over his forehead again.
“Do your best for her, Mademoiselle, won’t you?”
“But naturally,” she said politely, rising.
“And thank you once again for coming to our
rescue.”
“I could do no less, monsieur: Tiddy’s and Josie’s maman
was a vairy dear friend.”
“Yes.” Ponsonby smiled at her, and got up and opened the door for her.
“I expect there will be more callers.
Possibly,” said Mademoiselle, her face calm but the beady little brown eyes
speculative, “from further afield than just the immediate neighbourhood. Eugh—and if you will forgive me, mon colonel, it did not seem to me that
Lady Gordon-Smythe, the other day, had brought Miss Gordon-Smythe entirely on
the girls’ account.”
He winced. “I had thought of that, but
thank you for the warning.”
Inclining her head and murmuring: “Je vous en prie, monsieur,”
Mademoiselle trotted off.
Ponsonby retreated to his desk, sat down,
and began grimly telling over the list of his relatives who knew of his
unexpected inheritance, of those persons whom Sir James and Lady Allenby might
have told, of those who might now have had time to hear of it from friends or
relatives in India…
No, no, pray do laugh, Mr Thomas! We hoped it would amuse you! –You do not think
those people were funny, Matt? Er, if you are becoming bored—No, very well,
stay if you wish. No, thank you, no-one else wants that last cucumber sandwich:
eat it up by all means, dear boy, and then you may ring the bell, they may
remove the tray. You wish to know what happened to Tiddy baba? But dearest boy, she is right here! –No, no, you are not
stupid, Matt, and we apologise for implying it! When she was a girl—of course.
You will just have to possess your soul in patience. Yes, we all went back to
India, but we are not telling of that this afternoon. You see, we must tell it
in sequence, for Antoinette wishes to write it all down. –Let him see,
Antoinette. ...There! Now you see, don’t you? One thing follows the other. It is like a history book, Matt, yes, for
it is our very own history! Pray let him write the next heading, that’s a good
girl! The next thing that happened is that some of Ponsonby sahib’s acquaintances arrived at
Tamasha, so perhaps you might put that.
Some of Ponsonby Sahib’s
Acquaintances Arrive at Tamasha (Matt’s heading)
Ponsonby sahib’s money would have been on his sister Catherine: after all,
she had the two boys to establish, and though he had not written her that he
had become the Lucas girls’ guardian, he had written it to his elder brother.
Plus, somewhat reluctantly, the fact that he himself got a third of Lucas’s
estate outright: as George was the head of the family, he supposed he had a
right to know. But Catherine Ponsonby Wells was not first past the post.
“Miss Partridge has called, sir,” said the
Tamasha butler, bowing.
Ponsonby laid down his pen. “Oh—er, well, I
think Mlle Dupont and the young ladies are in the downstairs sitting-room, Harker.
Er—perhaps you could let me know when they have tiffin—I mean the tea-tray. I’ll join them then.”
“Indeed, sir,” agreed Harker smoothly. “But
I thought you might care to be apprised that she has another lady with her,
today, and two young gentlemen.”
“I would, indeed. Who are they? Her
nephews?”
Harker cleared his throat. “Mr Junius
Brutus Partridge is certainly one, sir. He is accompanied by his friend from
the university, a Mr Adrian Forbes.”
“That sounds harmless enough,” said
Ponsonby with a sigh.
“And by the latter’s mother, sir. A Mrs
Forbes,” said Harker in a terrifically neutral voice.
“She would be Mrs— Wait. A Mrs Forbes?”
Harker bowed.
“Harker, come in, if you please, and close
that door behind you,” said Ponsonby levelly. The butler having done so, he
said on a grim note: “Let us get this quite clear, please, before I set my foot
into any snare that may now be being laid in the sitting-room. Is this Mrs
Forbes a woman of middle age, covered in frills and furbelows, and with the
manner of a girl half her age? In short, a walking mantrap?”
“I would not venture to put it so, sir,”
said his butler politely. “However, if I may permit myself the expression, you
have described the lady to a T. She happened to mention that she knew you in
India, Colonel.”
“I'll be bound she happened to! My God,
Forbes memsahib! –What the Devil is
she doing in England?” he muttered to himself. “Er—never mind, Harker; thank
you so very much for warning me. I shall go in there with me bundook in me hand.”
Whether or not Harker understood this
precise expression was not clear—though as he had been Henry John Lucas’s
butler for five years there was every possibility that he did. But he clearly
understood its intent. He bowed smoothly. “Of course, sir. May I ask whether
you intend changing your coat?”
Ponsonby looked down at himself.
Mookerjee’s brown rag, today. Fitted even worse than the greenish thing. “No, I
do not!” he said with emphasis.
Harker bowed, a distinct twinkle in his
eye. “Very good, sir,” he murmured, holding the door for him.
It was her, all right. The curls amazingly
yaller and amazingly curled, the voice as horridly cooing as ever, the frills
and furbelows a cheerful lilac, even to the wrap, which featured into the
bargain silken tassels and God-knew-what. She was carrying a fan, which also
had a silken tassel attached. True, it was now June, and quite warm, for an
English summer’s day, but the woman was used to the searing heat of India! She
was, of course, thrilled to see him,
and managed to intimate this whilst expressing a cooingly sweet sympathy for
the shockingly dreadful news of the deaths of dear Mr and Mrs Lucas. And was it
not such a coincidence, dearest
Adrian’s being up at the same college as dear Miss Partridge’s most favourite
nephew, and the best of friends? And when he had said he thought he might spend
a few days with him at his aunt’s place in Kent near to Tamasha, she at once
recognised the name— Etcetera, etcetera.
"Portrait of Mrs Forbes" Miniature, artist unknown, circa 1830 (Formerly in the Harbourne Collection) Courtesy of the Maunsleigh Collection |
When the noise died away Mr Adrian Forbes
cleared his throat and admitted: “Me and Brute ain’t actually at the same
college, sir.”
“No, indeed, Junius Brutus is at Wadham, as
his dear Papa was before him!” fluted Miss Partridge, beaming upon him.
“I see. Classical scholar, is he,
Partridge?” said Ponsonby without smiling.
The fresh-faced young man grinned at him.
“Aye, that’s it, sir! Me brothers are even worse. One of t’little ones got
‘Horatius Quintus’. We call him Horry Quinny, in the family.”
Ponsonby choked, and Mr Junius Brutus
Partridge grinned more than ever.
“I’m at Christ Church,” admitted Mr Adrian
Forbes. “Grandfather come good, Colonel. Don’t know if you’d remember him?”
Ponsonby certainly did remember old Forbes,
and if he had come good to that extent, he could not imagine that young Mr
Forbes needed the Lucas girls’ fortunes!
“Was that old Mr Forbes from Delhi?” asked
Tiddy. “We heard that he had died.”
“Eh? Lor’, no, Miss Tiddy! Well, he were me
grandfather, out of course. No, he didn’t approve of a fellow aping his
betters, as he used to put it. Was rabid when Mamma insisted I go home to
school, y’know.”
Tiddy nodded brightly. “I remember when you
left.”
“Do you really? Years ago,” he said,
grinning at her. “Don’t hardly remember much of India, no more. No, it was my
maternal grandfather what sent me to school, and then to the university: his
own old college. Never thought for an instant he would. Tell you the truth, he
didn’t at all care for dearest Mamma’s marrying Papa.”
“Adrian, darling boy!” she cooed. “All this
ancient history!” She fluttered her
eyelashes terrifically in Ponsonby’s general direction. “I am quite sure our
dear Miss Tiddy does not wish to hear all that!”
“Yes, I do, Mrs Forbes,” said Tiddy
stolidly. “It’s interesting. Has he got over your parents’ marriage, then, Mr
Forbes?”
“Wouldn’t say that,” he said judiciously.
“Made it a condition, y’see, that if he sent me to school, I weren’t to go out
to India again. Been quite decent to Mamma since she came home, though.”
“Oh, well, yes, one is received again!” said Mrs Forbes with a loud giggle worthy of a
maiden half her years.
Ponsonby eyed her drily. “Mm. Don’t your
respected Papa have any idea what your late father-in-law was worth, ma’am?”
She pouted and shrugged terrifically. “My
dear Colonel, he does not care!”
“All box-wallahs to him, y’see,” explained Mr Forbes helpfully. “So Grandpa
Forbes left the lot to Uncle Josiah. Knew he would,” he admitted cheerfully.
“Thing is, he was rabid when I wrote I didn’t wish to go back to India and join
the firm.”
“Do you mean,” said Tiddy incredulously,
“you chose to go to the university instead?”
“Aye, that’s it, Miss Tiddy!” he said
cheerfully.
“Doolally,”
said Tiddy, not quite under her breath.
“Tiddy, mon
ange, I have not a notion what that means, but I think that is enough,”
said Mlle Dupont on a firm note. “Why do you not take the young gentlemen out
to see the garden? Show them the artificial waterfall: it is so vairy clever, I
think they will like it.”
Eagerly the young gentlemen agreed they
would like it. Eagerly Mr Forbes suggested that perhaps Miss Josie would care
to accompany them, too? Eagerly Josie got up, taking the proffered arm. As the
quartet disappeared through the French windows her voice could be heard asking
coyly—in his Mamma’s very tones—exactly who his respected grandpapa was?
“That woman,” said Tonie tightly, when it
was all over, at long, long last, “has foisted herself upon poor Miss Partridge
uninvited, it sticks out a mile!”
“Oh, pooh!” cried Josie. “Miss Partridge is
the greatest snob that ever walked! She will have leapt at the chance to house
her! Why, her papa is Lord Harbourne!”
“Only a baron,” noted Ponsonby drily,
rising. “Though admittedly high enough in the instep for seven belted earls.
–Excuse me, ladies, I need to walk it off.” He went out through the French
windows and walked quickly away over the spreading lawns of Tamasha. Not so
quickly, however, that he did not hear Tiddy gasping: “She means to capture
him! Forbes memsahib! Poor old Johnny
Jullerbees! I never saw anything so fuh-huh-hunny! Ow!” And collapsing in gales
of laughter.
There! Did we not say were some very funny
episodes in our story? What a disastrous woman Forbes memsahib was, to be sure! Though to give her her due, in Mr
Forbes’s lifetime she made him a dutiful wife, and indeed assisted his business
affairs greatly with the right sort of dinner party. –Inviting people with whom
he might do business or who might have influence with those who would put
business his way, girls. It might seem calculating, Antoinette, but that is the
way the world wags, and a hostess should bear these things in mind. Yes,
doubtless your Mamma invited Mr and Mrs Jameson because of his brother’s
position in the government: the connection can only do your Papa good.
Good gracious, is that the time? We had
best leave it there, for this afternoon, then. But as Mr Thomas and Madeleine
are so kindly coming to assist Antoinette in keeping us old fogies company at dinner tomorrow while the children’s parents
are dining out, we might tell you a little more of our callers then. –Matt,
dearest, pray do not cry out like that. No, your Mamma does not wish you to
come down to dinner. But once Antoinette has written it, you may read it, if
you do not want to miss out on anything. ...“Call it”, dear boy? Oh! Well, it will just be about our visitors,
and if we get that far, about the arrival of Ponsonby sahib’s relatives at Tamasha. Let him write a title down if he
wishes, Antoinette, after all it is his family history, too, and it is so good
to see a younger person of your generation taking an interest!
More Visitors Come to Tamasha (Matt’s heading)
Mrs Goodenough called, and was
overpoweringly gracious to both Ponsonby and Mlle Dupont. Tess she treated with
a mixture of kindly condescension and outright toad-eating. Perhaps
fortunately, the other girls were not home on this occasion. Tiddy’s prediction
that she would not call again within the week came true, but she called within
the fortnight. Possibly she had used the interval to ascertain precisely what
Ponsonby’s situation was? Certainly she sympathised graciously with him over
the responsibility for four young ladies. And managed to inquire what changes
he expected to make at Tamasha? He returned the grim answer that he did not
anticipate making any, the which seemed to please her very well. Tiddy was once
again absent but a trifle unfortunately Josie was present and spent the entire
visit glaring sulkily at the woman.
Her third visit, or so she claimed, was but
a flying one, in order to give dear
Miss Lucas the receet for which she had asked. Tess’s blank but polite
acceptance of it did not precisely indicate she was expecting it. Just as the
flying visitor was about to leave Forbes memsahib
arrived, complete with fluttering ribbons and trailing scarves—sea-green, this
afternoon, a striking sight in an English sitting-room in the depths of the
country—accompanied by young Adrian Forbes. The two ladies took stock of each
other. After which Mrs Goodenough went on her way smiling airily, and Forbes memsahib sat down smiling even more
airily and proceeded to outstay her welcome.
Mrs Goodenough’s Excellent Receet for a Pickle of Blackberries
To be made when the blackberries are
abundant in the hedgerows. Gather your berries & to every quart put 1 1/2
lb. sugar in a bowl. The next day a pint of vinegar for each qt. of the berries
is brought to the boil. To this add the berries with their sugar & boil all
together for an hour. It must be cooled when you mix in the spices in the
amounts 1/2 oz. of ginger & 3 times as much allspice for each qt. of
berries. Boil again for 10 minutes. A wooden spoon to be used. Pot up in your
small pickle jars. A good pickle to hand with a ham or a haunch of roast meat
as you might a redcurrant jelly, also goes well with cold meats.
Extracts from
Gilbert Ponsonby’s letters written in the year 1828
to Jarvis
Wynton, Fifth Earl of Sleyven:
Extract (1). Letter dated “Tamasha, June
1828”
...On Mrs
Goodenough’s next visit she was accompanied—not unexpectedly, no—by her son. He
almost immediately monopolised Miss Lucas, so pretty clearly he was under
orders. When Mrs Forbes and her son
arrived, the Goodenoughs were thus in a very good position. Dug in, you could
say. Bayonets fixed and the guns primed. Something very like that.
Volleys
were fired on both sides, the maternal and even paternal grandfather of Mr
Forbes being mentioned. However, this light fire was nothing very much and it
was pretty clear by the end of the visit that Mrs Goodenough has realised that
all she has to fear from Mrs Forbes is that she will capture my humble self and
very possibly persuade me to forbid Miss Lucas’s so much as looking at Dr
Goodenough, and Mrs Forbes has very clearly realised that all she has to fear
from Mrs Goodenough is that her son will capture Miss Lucas, thus removing the
administration of her share of the family fortune from my hands and very
possibly placing Mrs Goodenough in a position of power within the Tamasha camp…
Hey, day!
Tiddy
kindly advised me to avoid the sitting-room when they call. But oddly enough, I
don’t intend strolling into the encampment to find all me men weltering in
their blood, as I promptly informed her. Gratifyingly, she collapsed in
giggles—I think, as I wrote in my last, she is coming round—and even Mlle
Dupont whisked out a handkerchief and clapped it to her mouth, her thin little
shoulders shaking. Miss Lucas, however, did not smile, and Miss Tonie said on a
reproving note: “Colonel, permit me to say that is scarcely amusing. And
certainly exaggerated.” Josie, of course, merely looked bored.
Extract (2). Letter dated “Tamasha, June
20 1828”
...Tamasha,
it seems, is not to be spared my own relatives this summer. My sister Catherine
Ponsonby Wells has arrived with Graham Arthur Bernard George Ponsonby Wells and
Edward Wilton Gilbert Ponsonby Wells in tow. “Gab” (from the initials) and
“Ned”, to their contemporaries. Catherine failed signally during the period of
her husband’s lifetime to force him to tack the “Ponsonby” onto his own name,
but it is now on her card. I received the same in an enfeebled hand, barely
able to croak: “She sent in her card?
My sister?”
The butler
in person had brought it in. Clearly a man with a strong sense of where his
duty lay. “Yes, Colonel. Naturally I have shown her into the sitting-room. I
apprehend the lady is a widow?” he said kindly.
Catherine
has been a widow for over fifteen years. Limply I looked at the black-edged
card, and conceded that was correct. And asked whether Miss Lucas and Mlle
Dupont were in the sitting-room. They were not: they and Miss Tonie had driven
out to pay calls. Miss Josie and Miss Tiddy were in there—my God! I shot to my
feet, barely remembering that tea ought to be ordered up for the visitors.
Smoothly Harker, holding the door for me, informed me that he had already
ordered it up. Well, he ain’t so wonderful as your impressive, Bates, Jarvis,
he lacks the second sight—but d— nearly!
I more or
less got in there in time. Tiddy was just sympathising, in the very coo of
Forbes memsahib herself, with
Catherine’s widowed state. The words “Fifteen years? As much as that?” were
just dying on the air as I shot in.
I of course
have not seen Catherine for years: as you know, I only came back to England the
once in all my years in India. That was the visit when Mamma had a row of
simpering, pudding-faced provincial Misses lined up for me. She died about
eighteen months after that, and so there was no reason for me to return. I
remember Catherine as a slender girl of middle height, the same dark hair as
myself, and with the same sallow skin and slightly hooked nose. Rather apt to
feel herself injured and to complain of anything and everything with no very
good reason to do so. I had to blink. The hair, which was always very curly, is
now pure white. It was dressed very fashionably indeed under a huge black silk hat
adorned with a wisp of a black veil, and the limp muslins and cottons I recall
from her girlhood were replaced by black silk. She is now gaunt rather than
thin, the face fined down to a remarkably distinguished look. She could pass
for a duchess of the most intimidating variety—and has most certainly acquired
the manner of one!
“Well,
Gil!” she greeted me. “You are looking as well as might have been expected.”
She proffered her cheek.
Feebly I
pecked it, greeting her in return and owning that she was not only looking
remarkably well, but remarkably like Grandmother Ponsonby. I dare say you will
not recall this, Jarvis, but Grandmother Ponsonby was the daughter of an earl
and never let anyone in our obscure little district forget it. Her
grandchildren without exception hated and feared her. Catherine, believe me or
believe me not, smirked and thanked me! It was foolish of me to hope for
something better—yes. The character generally becomes more fixed with age, does
it not? She then looked me up and down, saying coolly: “India wear, is it?”—One
of Mookerjee’s awful efforts, out of course.—“I think we can do better than
that: it is just as well I am here.”
She then
reminded me of “the boys’” names and we shook hands. They are, in fact, not so
young as all that. Graham, whom I just remember as a damp-bottomed object
presented for inspection and quickly banished to its nursery, must be all of
thirty years of age. And Ned, therefore, must be twenty-five. Over my years in
India Catherine forced them to write duty-letters, presumably prompted by her
sense of the proprieties, since to the family’s knowledge I had no expectations
at all, so I know something of their history: school, cricket, that sort of
thing. The letters ceased when they grew up, but Catherine has kept me
apprised, in great detail, of all the family’s doings. Their elder sister,
Mary, has long since been married off to a fellow with suitable expectations.
Barbara, the younger sister, and not so pretty, was awarded to a country
parson. Actually I hear quite often from Barbara, who is as dutiful as her
mother but sounds much sweeter-natured: she seems entirely happy in her life
with the parson and her letters are always full of accounts of jam-making, the
experiments in their orchard with beekeeping and the cross-breeding of apples,
and the doings of little Johnny, Sidney, and Babs.
I thought
that Graham at one stage was engaged, so I asked if he had not got married? You will appreciate his reply,
Jarvis: “No, actually, Uncle Gil,” he said with a superior smile that was the
twin of his mother’s. “You have it wrong. An engagement was mooted, but the
young woman’s parents could not reach an accommodation with Mamma and myself.”
Tiddy was
mercifully silent throughout our exchange but at this she asked with innocent
interest: “Was it the dowry? Was it not enough, sir?”
At which I
was constrained to inform her that that was rude, and we might safely conclude
it was: there was no need to remark on the point. Luckily she did not break
down in giggles, and Josie is neither bright enough nor interested enough in
the conversation of other persons to have taken my point.
My nephews
then taking their seats, Mr Ned looking subdued, if sulky with it, and Mr Wells
looking annoyed—the which did not stop the both of them leering admiringly at
Josie, I might add—we were enabled to enjoy the gracious condescension of all
three Wellses until the tea-tray arrived.
“We were
quite astonished,” Catherine remarked over the teacups, “to hear that you had
consented to come home at last, Gil, dear. –He was always quite an eccentric,
my dears,” she said graciously to the two girls, “and at one stage our poor
late mother declared she washed her hands of him.”
“This was
probably after I’d refused to look at the pudding-faces she’d lined up for my
delectation on a visit home,” I added cordially.
Josie, for
once, was paying attention, and more than rose to the occasion. She simpered.
“Oh, one cannot blame you, dear sir!” She tossed her golden curls and added
graciously to my sister: “The well-meaning efforts of one’s relatives can
become so tedious! Even dearest Mamma for some time kept suggesting that Mr
This or Mr That from the district might do: but really! They were nobodies! But
she was doing her best, you know. But
then, when my aunt, Lady Allenby, kindly gave me a Season in London, I did rather better for myself, and I shall
not scruple to confide in you, dear ma’am, that Viscount Welling was positively
at my feet!”
I would not
have said she had it in her! I could have awarded her a medal on the spot!
Our India Days, Chapter 6
More Visitors Come to Tamasha (continued)
“Josie,” concluded Tiddy in awe when the
Wellses had at last gone off to the rooms that would be theirs for their stay
at Tamasha, “you were positively wonderful!”
“Thank you!” she said with an angry laugh,
tossing the curls, the blue eyes sparking fire. “I felt quite inspired, I must
confess, for the sight of those two noddies sitting there looking at us smugly,
quite as if it were an understood thing, was more than I could support!”
“Indeed!” Tiddy gave Ponsonby a steely
look. “It had better not be an
understood thing.”
“No, for I have not set eyes on the woman
for nigh on thirty years. And did not care for her then,” he replied coolly.
“And I quite share your opinion: well done, Josie, my dear, I shall mention you
in dispatches.”
Josie giggled, smirked, and nodded. And
Tiddy noted, smiling grimly: “Good! And if you do not wholly object, Colonel, I propose we encourage them to form
misplaced hopes.”
Josie looked eager, but glanced fearfully
at Ponsonby.
“Encourage them with my good will. One
collects that Graham is not the sort to let his emotions interfere with his
prospects: I do not think his heart will be in any danger.”
“What about t’other?” asked Tiddy.
“You know him almost as well as I. Try him
in the fire, by all means: if he be not as greedy and self-serving as his
brother, I shall confess myself surprised but pleased.”
He went out, looking grim, and the two
sisters looked at each other speculatively.
“He dislikes them as much as we do, do you
think?” ventured Josie.
“More. I think he is both disgusted and
disappointed. –Did you ever see anything so smug as the look on Mr Edward’s
face?”
“Never. Well, he is good-looking, if one likes those dark curls and a pout in a man, which I confess, I do
not!”
"Mr Edward W.G.P. Wells, upon the occasion of his marriage to Miss Juliana Higginbotham" Oil, 1832, by Frederick Greenstreet Courtesy of the Higginbotham Trust, Leeds |
“But does he not remind you a little of Mr
Feathers? You remember, Josie: the Carruthers boy’s tutor, back in India! You
and Emily Carruthers were frantically in love with him.”
“I was thirteen—fourteen at the most!”
protested Josie indignantly.
“Nevertheless, Edward Wells has very
similar looks, and, I rather think, is similarly vain.”
“Was Feathers vain? Perhaps you are right.
But he was only a servant, Tiddy.”
Tiddy sighed. “And to think I thought you
were a brand from the burning, for a moment!”
“What?”
“Never mind. Which do you wish to torture?”
“The elder, for if he is not so
good-looking, I am sure his Mamma will expect him to take me, as I am older and
prettier than you. You must take the younger.”
“But can the mere I possibly attract as good-looking a young man as Mr Edward Wells?”
“No,” said Josie drily. “But your
expectations most certainly may.”
—Quite, Mr Thomas: it is most certainly the
way of the world. Do not look like that, Antoinette, you goose! It was neither
sad nor shocking, but wholly expectable! If you wish to have Ponsonby sahib’s private reactions, fetch the
portfolio of letters from the study marked “Letters to & from Indian
Friends.” The one we have in mind is one he wrote to his friend Dr Little:
Ponsonby sahib’s letters to him came
back to him, on the doctor’s death.
Gilbert
Ponsonby’s letter to Dr Little dated “Tamasha, June 30”
Dear Little,
It is going
on pretty much as anticipated, here, since Forbes memsahib was sighted. Catherine is as bad in her different way. It
has been a bloody series of skirmishes, with honours about even. Catherine can
offer nothing except Grandmother Ponsonby to counter the Harbourne connection,
but nonetheless brings her up whenever a big gun is called for. She had nothing
at all to counter old Forbes, and was about to retreat in fair order, but young
Forbes cheerfully let out the fact that he ain’t got a penny from him, so it
was his mother who beat a tactful retreat that day. Adrian Forbes and the elder
of my greedy nephews have been laying siege to Josie, and she is duly
encouraging both. Ned Wells is pursuing Tiddy, tho’ from the look in his eye he
would prefer it to be Josie. Tiddy is so far managing to give a convincing
impersonation of a simpering young Miss, but the Lord alone knows how long she
can keep it up. Young J.B. Partridge also seems interested there, tho’ to give
him his due it does not seem to be at anyone’s prompting. I did point out to
her that when ones lays traps for tigers it can be the innocent gazelle what
tumbles into them, but Miss Tiddy replied with an nasty gleam in her eye that
all was fair in love, war, and the shikar.
And that if the odd gazelle or ape
could not sniff out the trap, that was its bad luck. Rather a pity, as Junius
Brutus, if not the brightest of the bright, is a pleasant enough boy.
Goodenough
is now definitely pursuing Tess, and we are favoured by incessant visits from
his mother. Tess is definitely flattered—no, to be more precise, she is fluttered by him—but nevertheless,
unless I am mistaken, which I freely admit I may well be, is not positively
encouraging the fellow. Possibly she may feel it is too soon after her parents’
deaths?
Sir William
Hathaway is also in attendance far too often and the fact that Tess does not
encourage him at all does not, alas, seem a deterrent factor.
We thought
that Messrs. Gordon-Smythe and George G.-S. were intended by their Mamma for
Josie and Tiddy, but she seems to have ordered the elder to switch his
attentions to the martyred Tonie. She does not receive them with anything
approaching complaisance, but nevertheless he persists. Tiddy, alas, is
encouraging young George, who has not a brain in his head, to believe himself a
rival to my fool of a nephew. The latter, incidentally, took it upon himself t’other
day to explain, after Tiddy had appeared in the sitting-room dishevelled and
muddy from an expedition to the stream, the sort of comportment that one would
naturally expect from one’s wife. Tiddy received the homily with maidenly
flutterings of the eyelashes and cooing gratitude. One almost feels sorry for
the poor fool.
Forbes memsahib is still laying siege to yours
truly, and if you don’t mind, I shall draw a veil.
To sum it
up, we are surrounded, but as our foes are definitely not worth the waste of
good shot, shall employ less direct means, possibly in the nature of an ambush
or two, to rid ourselves of them. Seriously, I would be only too grateful if a
handful of decent fellows who could make the girls happy would appear, but
alas, there are none of those in this part of peaceful, rural England.
I was very
glad to have your report of Indira and the girls, and tho’ I know you do not
care to be thanked, shall reiterate my gratitude. I shall stick it out here for
the rest of the year, but if things have not improved very much by next spring
I think I shall not offer the girls a Season in London as Miss Josie has
already instructed me is my duty. Had a very kind letter from Lady Sleyven
offering to take them under her wing, but— Well, I shall think about it.
Certainly Jarvis Wynton is more than capable of protecting them from all the d—
fortune-hunters of London, but I should not dream of leaving him to do so. And
I must get back to India early next year. The best thing, unless some decent fellows
do turn up, may be to take the girls with me: offer them at least a change of
scene. Sorry I cannot be more definite at this stage.
Yours, with thanks,
Gilbert Ponsonby.
P.S. Let me assure the doctor sahib that any sure-fire weapon which would rid me of Forbes memsahib for good and all would be
received with humblest gratitude, so pray do not hesitate to suggest one! G.P.
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